


Thing we lost

by Rudesatan



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Heaven, before the fall - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-25
Updated: 2014-04-25
Packaged: 2018-01-20 18:36:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1521329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rudesatan/pseuds/Rudesatan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gabriel wished if there was a way to change the past, so he could at least keep the one thing he need the most.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thing we lost

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic..I hope it's good enough!

Thick smoke, and the heavy smell of alcohol filled the place. It was enough to bring anyone to a drunk state. And it was the perfect place to get yourself drunk. The glasses hitting the top surface of the table, either demanding for more or just simply having enough, Simple details, but it brought too much for anyone's mind. The troubled minds. That's how Gabriel felt. He closed his eyes, taking in some air. But there was nothing, and he was not drunk enough. No matter how many shots he'd take. It'd take alot from an angel to be as drunk.

He was going through one of those night, where no prank or a master mind trick or even a nice looking lady can over power it.He was stuck with it and no matter how many days he'd ignore the empty feeling, it have to return. He wasn't always like this. Having fun or swinging with someone in a party. Every couple of nights with someone and ending up waking up in their bed. Forgetting even the reason why he need to get up and leave the bed. Because this is not his life, not his..But someone else's that he crashed into. He needed to forget everything. "Sir..You had enough.." "No, I pay and you pour it down, honey." He replied to the female bartender, flashing her a little smile. He will always miss that single person who offered him everything he could ever ask for.

 

_"But why do you think it's wrong?!"_

_''Because if I fly like this, I'll fall, Luci!"_

_Lucifer smiled at the worried little Gabriel, his cheeks are puffy from crying too hard from the fear of actually falling down. Lucifer had told him that he can't always carry him up when he flies. He must learn how to use his own wings in the end. Gabriel was still clinging to his older brother tightly, looking from one of the high cliffs of the Earth. He begged Lucifer the other day to take him somewhere that no other angel could see what he were doing. Because they'll end up making fun of him because he can't fly as well. Every angel should learn how to fly at a young age,yet Gabriel was somewhat..Afraid of highest. "You know, Gabriel..Flying is more like..Believing in something you hold tightly inside of you. Something you believe in with all of your grace. "He paused then added. "A happy thought. Think of something that makes you so happy and you can just.." Lucifer threw himself while holding his little brother closer to him. Glory white-shaded blue wings spreading behind him, "And you can just fly!" He laughed loudly, but little Gabe was yelling then giggling as soon as he heard his brother's laughs echoing through the land.He turned around and got back to the other side of the cliff, 'See? It's not that hard." He placed Gabriel down and smiled at him, "What does it make you happy, makes you feel like flying. So, what does it make you happy, little one?" He asked, looking at Gabriel with much attention that the younger angel could swear no one ever gave it to him from before. "You.." He whispered. "You make me happy, big brother!" He said aloud, excited. And at that very moment, Lucifer gave him one of those smiles that can hold only one meaning. Gabriel turned around and stepped on the edge of the cliff. Swallowing hard. "I-I will do it."Lucifer smiled even brightly at him, he couldn't wait to see his little brother finally stepping into the other side of the world. "I'm right behind you.." Lucifer whispered, assuring to his brother that he'd be here for him if things got bad. Gabriel was scared, so very scared. Yet, he wanted to make his older brother proud of him.It was the beginning to him when he stepped off of that cliff._

_Gabriel closed his eyes tightly, trying his best to work his wings to follow his commands and fly. And to his surprised, they did. He was up in the air, and it was the most beautiful feeling ever. "Holy Heaven, Gabriel! You did it!"The loud cheering from the top of the cliff made him grin so wide that he could feel his jaw hurting._

Gabriel clinched his eyes shut at the memory, flashing back to his mind against his own will. He got up from his chair and walked outside, he can't handle it anymore. He was either going to lose it infront of the people there, or just pass out to stop his thoughts. The air outside is cold, he could feel it, just the way he used to feel that person's cold touch against his warm skin. Making his whole grace and being sparkle like fire works.Dizzy, yet, in such a delightful way. It was almost addicting, actually. Just his touch, it was addicting to him. 12:05. Midnight, and he still isn't as tired even after walking that much.

_You've grown up to be a really handsome and a very strong archangel, little one. I'm so proud of you." Lucifer's soft voice was the most soothing thing he had ever heard. It made his heart beats thousand mile per second. It was Gabriel's twenty one birthday, if you could count it in humans' years. He earned his own sword at last, winning his first battle along side Lucifer and Michael. And he felt even proud of himself when Lucifer spoke to him like this, all proud and happy. He felt as if he truly deserves what he has earned right now. "Thank you, big brother." He said boldly. All the other angels bowing down for Gabriel, Showing him the respect that he earned after years of training with Lucifer and following after Michael's advises. Michael gave him a smile and a nod before turning to Lucifer to whisper something in his ear. Lucifer nodded and Michael got back to his place. "It's time to leave now, Gabriel" The younger nodded then headed out, Michael at his left and Lucifer at his right._

_At that evening, Gabriel and Lucifer were sword fighting. Gabriel was not sure why was that a good idea to began with. He just wanted any excuse to spend more time with his big brother. "Wrest, Gabriel." Lucifer said in his firm tone. And Gabriel gripped the end of the with force,, forcing his wrest to twist just slightly to it would fit the angel he is trying to aim at. The sound of the golden metal hitting silver is too strong that night, it was, although, a beautiful noise in their ears. Gabriel's golden sword aimed at Lucifer's shoulder, but the elder's silver sword blocked his attack. Gabriel's movement's are becoming heavy,and he knows it. "Tired already, little one?"_

_"No."_

_Lucifer arched a brow at him, smiling and keeping up with the fight. "Isn't it strange that you ask of me to do this instead of you spending more time with our brothers and sisters. It's your night." His brother said, taking a step back as Gabriel takes a step close, sword at alert. "I know, but.." It's not really my night. I just don't feel it. That's what he wanted to say. He knew if he let Lucifer for one moment, he'd disappear, because he is not used to spending alot of times in formal occasions that much. And to add on, he has more work to do . "I think I had enough of that.I mean, have you seen the ladies? Couldn't keep their eyes off of me. I fear for myself." Gabriel chuckled as he raised his sword, attack Lucifer's side, but his big brother moved away, then hitting Gabriel's sword with his own with much force. "Now, now. getting cocky?" And that grin..Gosh, it sent Gabe's mouth trembling for a moment before answering." Nah..Keeping it real, big brother. Just keeping it real."_

_"Then try harder."_

_Gabriel stopped. Confusion written on all over his face. Because that meant alot of things, "What do you mean..?" "_

_Don't get distracted by words at the field, Gabriel." And he raised his sword again, still thinking about Lucifer's words until he heard his brother's voice talking to him again. "Do you know what is the most dangerous place to attack your enemy, so you can at least paralyze them temporary?" Gabriel nodded, "Yeah." He said, another hit from their swords echo through the empty room. Gabriel was trying to put much of an effort in his attacks, though. "You aim at their heart." Lucifer said,and with much speed, he managed to throw off Gabriel's sword at the floor, raising the head of the sword against Gabriel's chest, just where his heart rest. Golden-sunset eyes meeting icy-blue ones, and when you look closer, just a little bit closer, you can feel there is something hidden in there. As if those freezing eyes were looking right through you, announcing with much pride that they know every little secrete you have in there. But it' seems as if they are trying to tell something else at the same time.. "Well, now. I think we have reached the end of our late night training, hmm? Alright then, you must excuse me, I must go."_

_"Lucifer.." But his big brother was already gone._

 

It's strange. Ironic, actually. You used to have everything in the reach of your hand, but you suddenly wake up.and it's gone. Gabriel stood there in his place, watching the sky for a moment, if he could undo everything, he so badly would. Sometimes, he missed what he had lot too much for his own good. What made everything wrong was the day he met Lucifer. At Earth.He couldn't really believe it. Nor trust his eyes. For him, to stand against one of his brothers was something..unexpectable. He never wanted to part in this war between his brothers. The way Lucifer looked at him..He could see sadness and sorrow so visible that his heart ached. It shook him right from the inside, his grace, his being. His everything. But he tried to hide it. Gabriel is stubborn to let these emotions slip away. Maybe because the Pagan God side of him did not allow it. He just wanted to help the Winchesters in this, just for one last time. Gabriel didn't take any sides, but he honesty didn't want the Earth to be destroyed, either. So he sided with what sounded insane to any Mighty creature and that with humans. At least, humans didn't want anyone dead. Maybe..

It may have been months since now. He managed to pull one last epic trick before he disappeared from everyone's sight for good now. From Lucifer's, more likely. He turned his back and left, leaving a brother mourning over his 'dead' body. A part of Gabriel can feel that the old Lucifer he once loved and looked up ad adored was still there. It was just his pride. His damn pride that got on the way of their happy family. Gabriel shook his head as he walked down the street, heading to the place he stayed in. He kept a low profile so not even the Winchesters would be after his case. He needed a time alone. For himself. His mind was somewhat cloudy, almost high from how much drinks he had. But these memories refused to leave him alone, still.

 

_Gabriel has developed some sort of adoration for his big brother. Not just the way that any little brother would adore his big brother, but ..another kind of way. Even he tried to deny it, he was in love with Lucifer. for every simple little detail. How he'd laugh, the sound of it, that smile and the tender touches he'd give to him when he pats his back or hold his hand while they are training together. Or even in some formal celebration. It made his heart jump whenever Lucifer offered him to dance with him. And those icy-blue eyes, could just make you freeze in your spot and how delightful feeling it got him when he stared at them. For a short moment that felt too long to him._

_But there was no chance that Lucifer would look at him the way Gabriel does. He had a lot of who adored him, but he doubted that they loved their brother the way Gabriel did. They may be fascinated by his beauty, but Gabriel is fascinated by everything in Lucifer being. Whenever Gabriel had thoughts like this, he'd just go to the balcony in one of the rooms that no one bothered with entering. It was more like..a forgotten room, actually. Perfect place to drown yourself with your own thoughts. The sound of the door cracking open caught Gabriel off guard. He turned his head as fast as he can, only yo see his brother standing there. "Lucifer..?What are you doing here?" A small smile drawing it's way on Lucifer's lips. "Should ask you the same question, little one. I've been looking for you everywhere. Should have known you'd be here from the start. "Yeah, sorry.." Gabriel said, eyes looking down, he tried to push every thought he is having for a while, at least..until the reason of why he is here is out of the room. Lucifer stepped in and closed the door, worry was visible on his face, "Gabriel, Is everything alright?" The younger brother was shifting from a foot to another, "Yeah, Luci.." Huh, if he only knew. Lucifer was now standing infront of him, eyes glancing at the kingdom's land. And oh, if those eyes are not sparkling under the moon light."You don't seem so, though." Lucifer grabbed the other's hand, holding it , and at that very moment, if it was possible, Gabriel's grace would be out jumping around. "Your grace is not settled, either." Damnit, no, no! That's a big NO. He took a deep breath, relax, Gabriel..Relax or you will just "I'm just tired, is all.." .._ _And he did wish if he could just express himself to his brother, open up and show him exactly how much he did care for him, adored him and loved him in every way possible._

_But what if Lucifer thought wrong of his little brother? That he is some kind of..freak._

 

Gabriel took out the keys to the house he had stayed in. It wasn't far from town, nor close to people. Just some casual, normal house. And it's not that big or fancy, either. He didn't want to pick something that' catch anyone's attention. He trickster only knew that he'd be returning to his friend on the table, the whisky bottle. Just until he feels light-headed enough to sleep. Even though angels didn't sleep, but they did had those times where they decide to just..shut down themselves. For as long as they want. And besides that, Gabriel did somehow got used to it. He shut the door and headed to the living room, placing the keys on the table.

"Welcome back, little one."

_Gabriel froze in his place. He knew that voice, knew it too well..._

_"Lucifer.."_


End file.
